We’re all attached to the idea that someone on our holiday gift list is “hard to shop for”—or at least retailers have convinced us it’s so, if only to off-load some pretty strange stuff. Lovers of beer are only hard to please if the gift giver is unaware of the wonderful diversity of the world of beer. There are the beers themselves, ways to store beer, places to learn about beer, containers from which to drink beer, meals to enjoy with beer. Most of all, there are companionable times to be spent at the close of the year with good friends and good cheer. So here is All About Beer Magazine’s annual selection of gifts reasonable and foolish to share with your easy-to-shop-for, beer-loving friends. January issue of All About Beer Magazine is full of gift ideas and more.

The World’s Biggest Six-pack, Part One

If “big” means high alcohol, select six to savor from this list of Double Digit Dynamos, all weighing in at over 10% alcohol by volume:

Sam Adams Triple Bock (17.5%)
Boston Beer Co., MA

Scaldis (12%)
Dubuisson Brewery, Belgium

Big Foot Barley Wine (10%)
Sierra Nevada Brewing Co., CA

Kulminator 28 (11.5-12%)
EKU Brewery, Germany

Fred (11.5%)
Hair of the Dog Brewing Co., OR

Immort Ale (11.5%)
Dogfish Head Brewing Co., DE

Old Boardhead Barley Wine (10.6%)
Full Sail Brewing Co., OR

Old Crustacean (10.5%)
Rogue Brewery, OR

Gulden Draak (10.5%)
Van Steenberge Brewery, Belgium

Piraat Ale (10.5%)
Van Steenberge Brewery, Belgium

Avec les Bons Voeux (10%)
Dupont Brewery, Belgium

Eisbock Bayrisch G'forns (10%)
Kulmbacher Reichelbra¸ Germany

La Trappe Quadrupel (10%)
Schaapskooi Trappist Monastery, Netherlands

Big Ale (11.5%)
Brimstone Brewing Co., MD

To the cost of this final six pack, add the price of the airfare to England, Scotland, Germany, Belgium and France—these beers aren’t imported into the United States.

Schäff-Feuerfest (10%)
Schäffbräu, Germany

Borve Extra Strong (10%)
Borve House Brewery, Scotland

Imperial Russian Stout (9.5-10.5%)
John Smith Brewery, England

Rochefort (10-11.3%)
Rochefort Trappist Monastery, Belgium

Abbott (10.6%)
Trappist Monastery of St Sixtus, Westvleteren, Belgium

Bière du Demon (12%)
Enfants de Gayant Brewery, France

The World’s Biggest Six-pack, Part Two

The knee-high Jeroboam bottle, double the size of a mere magnum, holds 3 litres. Since no breweries are marketing mighty Methusalehs (another Old Testament patriarch, and equal to two Jeroboams)—let alone Balthazars or Nebuchadnezzars—a six-pack of Jeroboams is the biggest there is. Six of these giants would set the giver back as much as $300, but the six bottles will provide a holiday toast for at least fifty guests. Cheers!

Duvel ($60-70)
Belgian strong ale

Corsendonck ($40-45)
Belgian Abbey-style ale

Abbey de Floureffe ($35)
Belgian Abbey-style ale

Fred, Adam, or Golden Rose ($56)
Hair of the Dog Brewery

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Your Own Temperature Controlled Beer Cellar...

Give your beerloved the keys to the cellar, and turn that awkward space under the stairs into the most valuable room in the house. Vintage Cellars can convert any size, from a closet to a full-sized home’s basement: for example, to equip a 10’ by 10’ space kept at a constant 55&Mac251; F, with racks and lighting, can cost from $2,500 and on “up to the stratosphere” depending on materials used, aesthetics, and remodeling considerations. 800-876-8789, www.vintagecellars.com

...And Something Worth Keeping in the Cellar

Despite all the concern about freshness dating, born-on dates, and the like, there are a few rare beers where age is a plus. These are strong beers that still contain both live yeast and residual sugars for the yeast to work on; over the years, these beers can come to resemble port or Madeira. They are the vintage beers worth cellaring. Lay down a case this year to mark a baby’s birth; open a bottle to celebrate graduation—then sell the rest to pay for college!

Thomas Hardy's Ale, Brewed since 1968 by Eldridge Pope Brewery, England
According to importer George Saxon of Phoenix Imports, “If one could today find a bottle of each and every vintage of Thomas Hardy's Ale, I calculate that the tab for those 31 bottles could range from $3,688 to $6,232. The low end is based on a modest appreciation of 15percent per year, and the high end on the $1,000 paid for a bottle of the 1968 vintage.” That makes the Phoenix Vintage Sampler Pack a real deal at a around $18 for 6 bottles of 5 vintages: 1998, 1997, 1996, 1995 and 1994. 800-700-4253

Samichlaus, Hürlimann Brewery, Switzerland
This strong dark lager has, sadly, been discontinued by the brewery. Phoenix, once again, offers a vintage sampler pack, but for the last time. Four 12 oz. bottles, about $13. 800-700-4253

Other vintage beers worth laying down, all from between $2.50 and $10 per bottle:

Samuel Smiths Winter Welcome Ale 1998-99, England

Lindemanns Cuvèe Renè 1994, Belgium

Traquair House Ale 1997, Scotland

(All from Merchant du Vin, 206-322-5022)

 

JW Lees Vintage Harvest Ale 1986-93, 1996-98, England

Prize Old Ale 1995-98, George Gale Brewery, England

Saison de Pipaix 1995-96, 1998, Belgium

Vapeur en Folie 1994, 1996, Brasserie a Vapeur, Belgium

Hanssens Gueuze 1991, 1995, Belgium

Hanssens Kriek 1995, Belgium

Sinebrychoff Porter 1996-97, Koff Brewery, Finland

Pripp's Carnegie Porter 1997-98, Sweden

(All from B. United, 914-345-8900)

 

Fullers Vintage Ale 1998, England
(from Paulaner North America 800-589-2437)

Boon Mariage Parfait Vintage Gueuze 1997 (bottled in 1995), Belgium

Boon Mariage Parfait Vintage Kriek 1997 (bottled in 1995) , Belgium

Affligem Noel, Desmedt Brewery, Belgium

Pater’s Vat, Desmedt Brewery, Belgium

Scaldis Noel,Dubuisson Brewery, Belgium

Avec les Bons Voeux, Dupont Brewery, Belgium

(All from Vanberg and Dewulf, 800-656-1212)

 

King and Barnes Millenium Ale

King and Barnes Christmas Ale, 1998

(Both from Noble Union, 713-251-6362)

Belmont Station, 888-892-2337, www.horsebrass.com, also carries a range of large bottles, limited edition and strong beers.

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The Avid Homebrewer’s Dream

Say good-bye to unsightly carboys. No more sucking on siphon hoses. Avoid those messy boil-overs. Although DME's new 5 BBL Natural Brew™ system is meant for small brewpubs, why not present one to a large homebrewer? If you normally do your Christmas shopping from the front of the Nieman Marcus catalog, the $79,900 price tag won’t make you wince, expecially when you know this price includes a complete skid mounted 3 vessel brewhouse, all piping, heat exchangers, pumps and peripherals, central control panel; 2 - 5 barrel fermentation vessels, one 5 barrel serving tank , gylcol chiller, filters and more. DME Brewing Services, 902-628-6900, www.dmebrewing.com.

But What an Opener!

Spend more money on your bottle opener than your beer. This white bronze bottle opener is completely hand engraved with scroll work and personalized with gold plated engraving. The opener is delivered, appropriately, in a hand crafted fitted walnut box with an inlaid presentation escutcheon. A mere $2400, with a discount if you can use the word “escutcheon” in a sentence.

If that bursts your wallet, try the large bronze bottle opener which is laser engraved and etched with artwork of your choice on the handle. Price: $55 for the set-up, then $25 per piece. So if you want to purchase one for that special someone, the price is $80, but is comes down to $27.75 each if you buy copies for all twenty people on your gift list. 800-447-7613, www.cymba.

 

A Holiday Meal Without (You) Cooking

The weather is inclement, taxis are hard to find: why not bring the beer chef to you? A dinner for four, cooked in your home by nationally renowned beer-savvy chef David Page, $500. Choose between Steamed Local Clams with Nut Brown Ale, Fennel and Celery Seed; Smoked Duck with Pumpkin Dumplings and Sweek Leeks; Pork Rib Roast with Apples, Red Cabbage, Barley and Oatmeal Stout; and much more. Or you can call that cab: Page is the owner of Home Restaurant and Drovers Tap Room, both in NYC, Home Away From Home take out service and author of the upcoming cookbook, Home To Home.
212-627-1134

 

A Brewer to be Reckoned With

Have a contract brewery produce your finest beer. Take your favorite homebrew recipe to a brewery and have your own beer brewed; set up a company; obtain all federal and state licenses; create a label; buy bottles, six-pack holders, case boxes, kegs and tap handles; design and create sales and promotional materials. Approximate cost for 60 BBL (800 cases) worth of sudsy fame: $60,000. This estimate by Hammer & Nail Brewers, Watertown, CT. Other contrct brewers, where you would be in excellent, nay, famous company, include The Lion (PA), Catamount (VT) and Minnesota Brewing (MN).

 

Trappist Monastery Foods...

The Abbey of Gethsemani carries on the monastic tradition of fine cheesemaking, from the conveniently close and well-named site at 3642 Monks Road, Trappist, KY 40051; or, with untraditional modernity, on the web at www.monks.org. They produce Trappist cheese in mild, aged and smoked varieties, based on a century-old Cistercian recipe. The abbey offers a variety of gift packs, but a whole wheel of aged cheese ($28.35), sounds like the perfect gift to accompany flavorful beers. Oh, and if you must, the fathers also make highly esteemed fruitcake and bourbon fudge.

 

And Monks’ Trappings

An honest-to-goodness real monk’s robe to wear while enjoying your Trappist ales. It’s the closest to heaven some of us are going to get. Brown cloth with hood, $150.00. Craft Clerical Clothes, 212-764-6122.

 

Give the Gift of Knowledge

Send your dedicated but under-educated beer-loving friend for a course of study: get back a professional brewer! The American Brewers’ Guild in Davis, CA offers two short courses that will effect the transformation. The Brewer’s Apprenticeship Course lasts eleven weeks and is available on site in Davis, CA, or online, for $7950. Or give the Weekend Advanced Homebrewer’s Course online and never they leave the comfort of their own monitor; treat your favorite brewer/webhead for $159. 800-636-1331 or www.abgbrew.com

Or try the U.S. Brewer’s Academy at Chicago’s renowned Siebel Institute. The ten-week Diploma Course In Brewing Technology runs $8.900, and the two-week Short Course In Brewing Technology is $2,350. 773-279-0966 or www.breworld.com/welcome.

 

Take the World Beer Tour

Work getting you down? Why not take a field trip with your co-workers.Old Chicago Restaurants offer the Old Chicago World Beer Tour, Corporate Edition, available at all 39 Old Chicago Restaurants in 12 states. Invite 25 people from your office co-hort and taste from the 110 beers in the tour. Forge a lasting bond with co-workers when you receive a plaque in your group or company name to be mounted in the restaurant's Hall of Foam . Invite the boss, and maybe after 110 beers, he’ll pick up the tab: price $800 for beer, food and gratuity.

 

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Too Good To Drink From?

Buy a baby grand or a big beer stein for the same price. The silversmiths of Neresheimer Silbermanufaktur of Hanau, Germany crafted a stein that depicts the Battle of Guinegate, fought between King Louis XI of France and Maxillian I of Austria in 1479. A total of 24 different hand-hammered reliefs and castings tell the story. The stein is hand produced in 17th Century style and boasts a lion lid ornament with an eagle thumblift. This whopper costs a pretty penny too: $6,750.

Or, for $143, if you can't give her Leonardo DiCaprio, give her the next best thing, the Titanic Stein. This image of the historic Titanic, pumping thickclouds of smoke as she makes her maiden voyage, is a limited edition stein of only 4,000 pieces. Dolphins and crashing waves fill the scenery around the unsinkable ship, and an anchor serves as the steins handle. And for any of you who don't know what happened in the movie, discover the fate of the Titanic depicted in a miniature ceramic figurine insert on the pewter lid. Both from BeerSteins America www.steins-usa.com.

Finally, since size can indeed matter, the largest stein in the world: a stoneward stein standing four feet high. It weighs 35 lbs empty and holds 8.45 gallons. The scene on the stein as “Flemish Country Wedding” after the painting by Brueghel. It has a removable stoneware lid depicting Gambrinus, the beerking. The German verse around the top of the stein translates “He who can empty this stein is truly a man.” $4750.

 

Other Fine Brewed Beverages

In case you didn't know Sake isn’t rice wine, it’s rice beer, a brewed beverage, both similar and totally different from the barley variety. And, as we are just beginning to learn in the US, sake microbreweries produce delicious and sophisticated liquors to drink chilled, a far cry from the scalding jugful you may have met in restaurants. Momokawa is the best known premium brand. Their top bottling, world champion Momokawa Daiginjo Emerald, uses a seven step brewing processto create a dry, smooth light bodied premium sake. Expensive and elegant.

 

Practice saying “D’ohh!”

An original framed production cel with matching drawing of a true beer aficionado, Homer Simpson with a Duff Beer in hand, can grace your home bar, office or livingroom wall for $650. Animation USA, 800-548-2810
www.animationusa.com.

 

Immortalize Your Beer Lover

Mere mortals can leave an image that will last forever. Century Manufacturing, Wichita, KS will create a unique mold and a one-of-a-kind tap in the likeness of your beer lover. Just send a picture to Century, and they’ll transform your visage into a sculpted head on a tap handle. Immortality doesn’t come cheap, but this is better than being bitten by a vampire: the custom tap handle starts at $1,495. Century Manufacturing, 316-636-5423.

 

A Year of Festivals

Stop what your doing and take off to some of the best beer events on the planet. The beer flows from one festival to the next, on the Great Beer Fest Journey Around the World. This whopper of an itinerary includes: the GABF in Denver; the Great Britain Beer Festival in London; the Real Ale Festival in Chicago; Beer Camp in Ft. Mitchell, KY; the Boston Brewer’s Festival in Boston; Oktoberfest in Munich; the Oregon Brewer’s Festival in Portland; and Poperinge in Brussels (which only happens every 3 years). Around $8,400 will get you plane tickets and 4 nights stay at local hotels for each festival. Call Fariba at Tomkins Travel (800-495-8767) she and her associates will handle all of your flight and hotel needs. Bon Voyage!

 

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